There are some conversations that you want to have with your children when they get older. A talk that can’t wait, however, is one that discusses your upcoming divorce. Your children will have a lot of changes in their life after divorce and you need to prepare them for it.
But, how do you talk to your children about divorce? For starters, your children may not all be in the same age range, so they may not equally understand the situation. And, there may be changes that you don’t know where to begin talking about.
1. Have this discussion as a family
Your children look to you and their other parent for care, guidance and support in life. You may consider taking steps so they continue seeing you and your spouse as such. Having “the talk” as a family helps reinforce the idea that both parents will still be present in their lives.
2. Pick your time carefully
This talk may not want to be done before school or bed, however. This could give your children the wrong impression in the future and harm their experiences. Instead, you may want to plan this talk at the start of a weekend or whenever your children have plenty of time to process what divorce means.
3. Let your children ask questions
Children are full of questions, and divorce is likely something they don’t have a solid grasp on. The questions they may ask often vary depending on a child’s age, but let your kids ask whatever they need to ask. Do your best to answer them honestly, without burdening them with “adult” information about the specifics of your marital problems. Focus their attention on practical concerns, such as who will live where.
A lot in life is going to change for your children and they may need to know. If you work with someone who can give you legal guidance, then you may have some idea as to what’ll be different after the divorce.