Marriage and divorce will teach you things about yourself, other people and relationships. Yet you are not the only one who will take away learning — your kids will, too.
Confucius, the Chinese philosopher, once said, “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.” Remembering that won’t make you as wise as he was, but it may help you ensure the lessons divorce teaches your kids are positive ones.
How you handle your divorce could affect your children for years
A divorce is a one-off event, yet the memories and lessons of it will live long in your child’s memory. You will make mistakes as every parent does but considering what your words and actions will teach your kids can help you make wise choices. Here are some things to consider:
- Don’t let your actions contradict your words: You tell your child everything will be fine. Being young and trusting, they might believe you. Yet, if they see you and their other parent screaming at each other in the kitchen the next day, they will take away two messages. First, everything will not be fine, and second, you lie to them.
- Show them how to handle conflict: Disagreements and falling outs are a part of everyday life for school kids. If they see you and your spouse talking out your differences, it sets a good example. If they see you pushing each other around, do not be surprised if the school rings up and tells you your child has done the same in an argument with one of their classmates.
You have a lot on your plate during a divorce. Having help to negotiate it frees you up to focus on your kids rather than trying to understand complex legal matters alone.