You might have heard stories of people whose spouses walked all over them in a divorce. You may also have heard tales of bitter divorces that cost huge amounts of time and money because both spouses dug their heels in and refused to budge.
You need to aim somewhere in the middle if you are about to divorce. If you have kids, this is even more crucial.
Why should you stand up for your rights?
You have the right to expect a certain amount of your marital property and a certain amount of custody of your child, so why not take it? Getting help to understand what those rights are is a crucial first step.
Why be flexible with the divorce process?
Your spouse also has rights. If you try to go too far beyond your minimum rights, you cut into what they are entitled to receive. There is no reason they should give up their rights any more than you should. Hence you both need to accept that you must compromise. If you want black and they want white, you may have to settle on grey.
The more you argue and fight, the more your kids will suffer watching you. You could better spend the money and time you will spend litigating against each other on your children. A judge will almost certainly order some form of shared parenting anyway, and the more you antagonize each other in the divorce, the harder it will be to co-parent successfully.
Relationships do not always work out. Forget the past and get legal help to find a divorce solution that allows you all to get on with your future.